The rush of adrenaline, the elation, the devastation. Just one more shot. No, not of your favorite lemon drop, Jagermeister or tequila. I’m talkin’ tennis. Just one more shot– and everything depends on whether that ball goes in or out of the god forsaken green court, with that even more elusive white line that surrounds it. Did it hit that white line? Or did that crazy woman across the net call it out again?!!
Speaking of that crazy woman (me?!)- today she got in a fight. No really- four middle aged ladies were hollering at each other with a madness that I would equate to a regular ole Mass-hole road rage. Driving in Massachusetts, Playing lunchtime ladies tennis– both enough to send a sane person over the edge.
I have finally diagnosed this (myself?!) as having tennis induced bipolar disorder. It goes something like this–
Husband: “Honey, how was your match?”
Moi: “Omg. It was amazing. I am a superwoman. I can do anything.” Cue She-ra theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juIsRg6z41k
Or: “Honey, how was your match?” “Terrible. I suck. I am the worst. Throw out my racquet. I am depressed.”
Am I exaggerating? Not. At. All.
So if you want to try a game that tests your coordination, patience, athletic skill and test your mental state: Am I or am I not a sociopath?! Pick up a racquet. Join a ladies league and meet all us nutters out on the court.
Oh and check back here for hilarious and very real tennis outtakes.